Grandma Roi-Ann, a tribute

Sabrina was only 3 months old when I placed her in daycare and returned to work.  It was at that time  when we first met Roi-Ann.  She was one of the ladies who worked in the "infant room" at the day care we selected for Sabrina.  I remember how she was so positive and free-flowing with the daily reports of Sabrina's day.  I always hoped she would be there at pick-up time so that I could really hear about what happened each day.

Eventually Roi-Ann got moved to the "Infants 2" room, which roughly meant she had crawling babies in her care.  Eventually of course, Sabrina went to her class.  One day I went to pick up Sabrina when she was about 10.5 months old (early June 2009).  Roi-Ann greeted me warmly as usual and said "Would you like to know when Sabrina reaches major milestones?".  I looked at her, smiled and said "Yes, absolutely!"  She explained that some parents would rather see things for themselves the first time.  She went on to tell me that Sabrina has taken her first unassisted steps!  I was so thrilled, even though I hadn't seen it.  Roi-Ann taught Sabrina sign language when she was just an infant.  The most useful sign was "more" and she uses that to this day :).  One day Roi-Ann explained that she knows sign language because deafness runs in her family.

A couple of months after that, Roi-Ann told me she would be leaving in a week.  My eyes welled up with tears but I managed to hold them back.  I was surprised by my reaction and I wasn't sure if she had seen it or not.  She told me she was retiring.  I asked if we could keep in touch, thinking she was always so great with Sabrina, it would be great to maintain the relationship, or even have her watch Sabrina if needed, etc.  She gave me her email address.

Here is one of the earliest email exchanges we had, in September 2009:

Hello my little sweet Sabrina -

This is Miss Roi-Ann and was thinking about you today and missing you so much. I hope you are having a wonderful time in your new room and just showing everyone how smart and sweet you are --but I have no doubt about you doing those things honey, you are theeeeeeeeeee best.

I have been busy taking care of my Mother and enjoying that honey but maybe sometime we could make arrangements to get together before you forget me. Know that I miss you and just know of all the wonderful boys and girls in our room, you just stand out and honey and always will. Just show this old world how wonderful Sabrina is and always will be.

Please give your mommy and daddy a hug from me and tell them I said hello and wish them the best.
Talk to you soon.
Love you -- Miss Roi-Ann

We began making arrangements to see each other periodically.  Over Sabrina's 4 years, we saw each other many, many times.  When Sabrina was about 3 and spending the night with her, she asked "Miss Roi-Ann" if she could call her Grandma.  Roi-Ann said yes, and then asked me the following morning if that was alright by me.  Of course, it was :)  She really was Sabrina's "local Grandma". 

I trusted her implicitly and I never had to worry about Sabrina when they were together.  Roi-Ann would always text me updates or send me photos or videos of what they were doing, etc.  She was clearly part of our family.

One of the things Roi-Ann loved was shopping at Target.  Hence, whenever they were together, a trip to Target was in order!  Part of their tradition was stopping for lunch at the little eatery in Target, where Sabrina would get a personal size Pizza Hut pizza and a slurpee.  Roi-Ann once told me she has Sabrina in the shopping cart at the check-out aisle and the employee said "Awww, is that your grand-daughter?  She is so cute"  and she answered "Yes, thank you".  She relayed the story and then said "I hope that's OK that I said that".  I smiled, put my hand on her shoulder, and said "Yes, of course, because you are!".  Roi-Ann was always so positive, never did she say that Sabrina misbehaved (and I'm sure there must have times that she did!).

Another tradition - no matter the season - was watching Barney's Christmas video.  It actually belonged to Roi-Ann's grandson, Tej, but Sabrina requested it anytime she was there.  Last year, Roi-Ann told me it was starting to skip (probably because it was so frequently watched!).  I promptly bought her a replacement one so that the tradition could continue at her apartment.

We got to know Roi-Ann's daughter Jessi as well as Jessi's son Tej who is a couple of years older than Sabrina.


One day this Spring, Sabrina started randomly singing "Hit the road Jack".  I asked her how she knew that song (knowing that I listen mainly to classic rock versus oldies).  She told me Roi-Ann and her sang it in her car!  These lyrics were just one of the many things Roi-Ann taught Sabrina.  She sometimes would tell me "Now, when Sabrina is with me, we focus on fun, not on education".  I said I understood but really I beg to differ.  Just being with her taught Sabrina the importance of love and how it can come from people outside of ones biological family. 

A few days ago, on September 1st,  Roi-Ann passed away after a very brief battle with cancer.  The fact that it happened so quickly was a shock.  Sabrina did get to see her after her surgery but before we all knew that she would only have 2 weeks left with us.  Her passing was hard on Sabrina, who, even at 4, has a good understanding of what death really is.  Gene, Sabrina and I have shed a lot of tears over the loss of this amazing, caring woman who has been such a part of our lives for the past 4 years.

Roi-Ann, thank you for all the love and kindness you showed us.  As I told you the day before you passed, I will be forever grateful for all you have done for us and especially for Sabrina.  Your influence on her is one that I know will last a lifetime. 

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